While visiting Berlin, Germany for a week, the hostel where I was staying offered a city tour. I was pretty familiar with the city itself, and had taken similar tours when I studied there in 2016. However, other guests at the hostel convinced me to go with them.
I woke up early for the city tour, and in all honesty, I felt horrible. My period had just started, and I felt like an overstuffed balloon. I was unsatisfied with the way I looked and felt. Even though I felt gross, I threw some clothes on, grabbed a coffee, and headed off for the city tour.
The tour was going smoothly. A few other Americans where on the tour, and we all were discussing Berlin’s history through our shared American culture perspective. At one point a big yellow bee came out of nowhere, and landed on me. No matter what I did the bee would not leave me alone. One of the American guys in the group looked at me and said, “I always heard bees liked trash.”
As soon as he said this I stopped dead. I think he meant this comment as a joke, but I wasn’t sure. All I knew was this dude I really didn’t know had just called me trash. My response was not appropriate.
Trash. That word circled around my head, because in all honesty, I felt like trash. I had already woken up that morning not happy with my body. I felt bloated, big, unattractive, and ugly. Trash.
Worst of all, his comment hurt my feelings. I so desperately wanted to brush it off, but I just couldn’t. Comments matter, and I gave him and his comment way too much power over me. I know truth, but when you’re already feeling down, a swift kick in the backside doesn’t help.
Thankfully, one of the other girls on the tour with me took me aside, and told me not to listen to the “trash” comment. She told me the bee probably liked the bright yellow shirt I was wearing, as well as my jacket, which was covered in red and yellow flowers. She told me that in no way was I trash. Her words made me feel better, but unfortunately, in my mind, the damage was done.
This incident reminded me of how much words and comments can hurt. This guy had no way of knowing how horrible I felt that day. How I felt ashamed of the way I looked, and how discouraged I already felt. I like to think that had he known how I was feeling, he would have kept his comment to himself.
We never really know how people are feeling, their mental state, or the hardships they might be going through. Our words, and comments, can have an unintended negative impact on those around us. All I could think about was the bible verse that says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19).”
In the end, I really enjoyed the tour. With a little help from the girl who stood up for me, and the constant loop of biblical truth I started running through my head, I was able to bounce back. The boy’s comment hurt, but in truth, I had more positive things going for me that day than a lame comment about trash.
Biblical Truth
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14)
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3)
In Him we were also chosen as God’s own, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything by the counsel of His will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, would be for the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:11-12)
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)
Comments matter, and hurtful comments can lead to hurtful labels. Check out my blog post on labels we, or others, put on ourselves here.
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