So, for those who don’t know, I am totally obsessed with Sadie Robertson’s book, Live Fearless: A Call to Power, Passion, and Purpose. I have gleaned so much insight from this book that I am excited every time I open it because I know it will blow my mind. I am always excited to see how God is working through her!
About two weeks ago I was visiting Huntsville, Texas, and I had some free time on my hands. As a result, I went to the Sam Houston State University library to read for a bit. I went to Sam Houston for university, and the third floor of the library used to be my safe hiding place, so being up there again just felt right.
I had brought Sadie’s book, and snuggled in to read the 7th chapter. The 7th chapter was all about the difference between a champion and a legend, and what it looks like to be a legend for Jesus. Her biblical example came from the story of David and Goliath, and explained how Goliath was a champion, but David was a legend. After quoting 1 Samuel 17:34-37, she says of David, “The most beautiful part of the story to me is that David looks at his hands and sees hands that God made (p.g. 142).” As she was closing a section with how “A Legend Finishes Well,” she ended with these sentences, “…our lives will no longer be about what we can do, but about what God can do through the hands He made for us to use. That’s what leaves a legacy (p.g. 144).” After reading this I looked down at my hands, wondering what legacy I would leave. This is what I saw…
I was struck by what I saw: Take Meds. I had written these two washed out words on my hand earlier in the day. I was out of routine, and had forgotten to take my meds that morning. The note was a reminder to take my antidepressants as soon as I could. It was like in that instant God was telling me my purpose.
You see, I am not quite sure what I am doing with my life. I trust the Lord, but my constant need for control has me doubting, especially since most days I feel so lost. In this moment though I could hear God saying to me, “You might not know what plans I have for your future, but trust that they are good. You’re struggles with mental health are not for nothing. You will spread my light by bringing awareness to this issue.”
Y’all I was floored. There I was, at my old stomping grounds, continually being transformed by Jesus. My yearnings for a crystal ball where not answered, but instead I was given a great sense of peace. Jesus has got this. And yes, there might have been some ugly tears, on the third floor of the Sam Houston State library.
When you look down at your hands what do you see? Do you see scars? Do you see perfect smoothness? Do you see jagged lines? Do you see a callous or two? What is it that God wants you to do with your hands? You may not know exactly, but it will be beautiful. God is preparing your hands to do His work, sometimes, as I learned, you just have to look down.
And for anyone who is curious, I did take my meds as soon as I could that day.
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