“Dear younger me, Where do I start, If I could tell you everything I have learned so far, Then you would be, One step ahead, Of all the painful memories still running thru my head, I wonder how much different things would be, Dear younger me…”
As another birthday comes closer, like most people, I start to reflect on my life. Every year around this time the song “Dear Younger Me” by Mercy Me, begins to play on repeat in my head. For many birthdays past this song has moved me, and this year is no exception.
I hate the standard interview question, “If you could go back, and tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?” I have never had a good answer for this question. I tend to give the basic answers like, “Everything is going to be fine” and “Have confidence.” Even though I give those answers, I truly dislike them. I dislike them because if given the opportunity I would never tell my younger self that. To be honest the vagueness of those answers would probably just freak my younger self out.
“Dear younger me, I cannot decide, Do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life, Or do I go deep, And try to change, The choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me, Even though I love this crazy life, Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride, Dear younger me..”
The truth is I would hate the opportunity to go back, and talk to my younger self. She made choices that made me, and I like me. Now do I wish something’s were different? Of course, but not enough to put at risk who I am now. That may sound cliche, but at least it is more of the truth than the basic answer.
More importantly every choice that she made led me closer to Christ. Every mistake, every wrong move, every emotion, every hurt, every mental health problem led me closer to the God of the universe. I am who I am now in faith because of the younger me. As a result, I am grateful for my past. Every painful memory led me to truth. Every painful mistake led me to wisdom. Every painful process led me to strength. To freedom. The most important relationship I have is with Christ, and that is because my younger self chose to live, and that is a blessing.
But if I had to come up with an answer to say to my younger self, I believe this song has given me the perfect answer choice…
“Dear younger me, It’s not your fault, You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross, Dear younger me, You are holy, You are righteous, You are one of the redeemed, Set apart a brand new heart, You are free indeed…”
So…
Dear younger Michelle,
Thank the Lord that your older self will never come back through time, and try to give you advise. All the wisdom you need to know you are about to learn through your crazy blessing of a life. The Lord will reveal it to you when you are ready (and patience will never be your best trait). Just remember: you are holy, you are righteous, you are one of the redeemed. You have been set apart with a brand new heart, and you are forever free.
Happy Birthday,
Older (still a beautiful hot mess) Michelle
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