A year ago today I was in a really weird place. I was in the most beautiful city I had ever seen, I was with amazing friends, and yet I was depressed. How is it possible to be living your dreams while also being depressed? I’m not sure I know the answer to that, but I do know that weird feeling is possible.
I was on a two-week trip with friends, and through out the trip we had all talked about getting tattoos to commemorate our time together. This tattoo talk was really amped up by our hostel owners in Florence, Italy who helped promote a local tattoo parlor. Our hostel owners gave great reviews about the parlor, so lovingly called, Sweaty Beatty’s.
It took no time to persuade my friends and I to go and get tattoos at Sweaty Beatty’s, but the hard part, as always, was deciding what tattoo to get. Now, I was not some first timer walking into this whole tattoo thing. This would not be my first tattoo. This would not even be my second tattoo, so of course I had no fear (lol yea right).
It did not take long for me to decide what I wanted on my body. During the course of this trip, especially the few days prior, I had really been struggling with some life events that where happening to me and around me. These events were not pretty, and they in turn, changed the trajectory of the rest of my time in France (I lived there for a year as a nanny). These events had left me feeling so messy inside that I had forgotten who I was and whom I belonged to.
Slowly the Lord was pulling me out of the depressive state I had gotten into. I realize now why the process had to be slow in order for me to be the woman I am today (but that doesn’t mean I didn’t complain the whole time cause I sure did).
I was given lovely reminders that the Lord is my first and my last. My beginning was beautiful, and no matter what happens in my life, my ending will be beautiful too. My life is tied with Jesus. In Him is everlasting victory, because the Lord and I are one, His victory is my victory. I know my ending will be victorious as I move into eternity.
This thought of Jesus being my beginning and end really grabbed me, and gave me hope. It helped me as I reconciled the fact that the pain of this world has no bearing on my promised eternity. So, with Revelation 1:17 in the forefront of my brain, I got the Greek symbols for alpha and omega tattooed on my ankle. Alpha meaning beginning. Omega meaning end.
I remember the first prick of the needle very clearly. It was like a shock to my system. A wake up call. It lifted the haze around my brain, and as I looked down at the Greek symbols being drawn into my flesh, I knew that what I was declaring was the truth. Life will throw its curve balls, but I will not live in fear. Jesus is my alpha and my omega. Jesus is my first and my last. What hope, what joy, and what peace we have in Jesus!
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